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Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hi everyone! How are you all doing? I hope you guys are doing fine. So yeah today I feel like spilling out my thoughts on this blog of mine. Something I haven't done in quite a long time.

Sebenarnya aku sedih. Tapi aku tak tahu nak ungkapkan kesedihan aku macam mana. Of course, I am getting better but there are some things that make me feel... clueless. Aku tak pasti aku clueless sebab apa. Banyak benda sebenarnya. 

Kadang-kadang aku tak faham dengan diri aku. Tak, aku memang tak pernah faham diri aku. Ada masa aku rasa dekat sangat dengan Tuhan, aku buat banyak ibadat, dekatkan diri dengan Dia. Tapi apa jadi lepas tu? Lesap. Sekejap je. Aku kembali balik buat dosa. Macam entahlah, aku kesal sangat. Bukannya aku tak cuba nak berubah. Aku cuba. Tapi itulah, mungkin sebab aku kalah dengan nafsu aku sendiri, one thing yang memang susah aku nak elak. But I'm trying. Susahkan nak jadi baik? Ada je benda yang menghalang, especially nafsu kita sendiri. Aku harap Allah bagi aku kekuatan nak jadi lebih baik walaupun aku selalu gagal, selalu tersungkur di tengah jalan.

Dalam sibuk menolong orang dengan masalah mereka, aku tak sedar sebenarnya aku pun perlukan pertolongan. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying hard to help other people but myself. You know, I can't bear it when I see them suffering. I cannot. Especially the people I love. I can never let them down. I know I must do something. I know I need to help. I can't stand seeing them wallow in such a pain. I really want to be of a help to them. Even just the slightest kind of help. But... I realize that I need to help myself too. 

Ok bye.

Malas

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hi guys. It's me again. Hari ni tetiba rasa macam nak type lebih daripada satu post haha. Dapat idea masa sibuk cuci pinggan pagi tadi (fyi aku memang kuat mengelamun especially bila buat kerja-kerja macam ni) ha tudia. Cam pelik je kan. Tapi tu lah hakikat dia. I get ideas in a weird kind of way. Sebab apa? Masa cuci pinggan selalunya tak perlukan tenaga yang banyak, mostly tangan je yang bergerak. So masa ni la fikiran aku melayang jauh masa duk cuci pinggan tu. Pap! Keluar idea nak cerita pasal malas. Macam takde topik lain, kan? Ah kisah pe aku! I have my points here. So read carefully.

Rasanya sikap malas ni memang sebati dalam diri semua orang. Aku pun tak terkecuali. Woi mana ada orang yang rajin gila kat dunia ni! Takde ok. Semua malas! (ok beb jangan kecam aku hehe).

What do you do when you're lazy? Rolling on the floor!

Ok, tarik nafas, hembus. Fuh! Ready nak baca entri kali ni? Ceh poyo. Baca je lah. Orait orait. So apa sebenarnya malas ni? What is laziness? 

Laziness is the quality of being unwilling to work or use energy; idleness

Ha tudiaaa! Terima kasih Mr. Google. Definisi yang sangat tepat sekali ya. So basically laziness is a condition where one does not feel like doing anything or simply put, one is reluctant to do work. But little do we know, laziness is more complex than we ever think. Tak percaya? 

Aku akan kupas topik ni berdasarkan perspektif atau pandangan aku lah. So kalau ada sebarang percanggahan aku minta maaf awal-awal. Aku just nak share pendapat aku. 

Kenapa kita kata sikap malas ni sangat kompleks? Generally, laziness is not a sin. It is not a crime either. But we all tend to look at it as something unacceptable. Why? Sebab tu la kita kata sikap malas ni kompleks. 

Sikap malas ni boleh jadi positif, dan boleh jadi negatif. Ha. Masih tak percaya? 

Malas yang positif

Eh ada ke malas yang positif? Ada! Jadi macam mana malas yang positif ni? Okey. Pernah tak korang rasa macam malas dah nak kisah pasal orang lain? Pasal apa orang fikir pasal kau? Ya, ni malas yang positif. Kenapa? Bila kau malas dah nak ambil kisah tentang apa orang fikir pasal kau, kau akan rasa lebih gembira. Sebab apa yang lebih penting bagi kau is your own self and happiness. Kau akan mula fokus kat diri kau je. Isn't this a good thing?

Contoh malas yang positif yang lain;

"Malas dah nak kisah!"

"Malas dah nak buat dosa!"

"Malas dah nak jatuh cinta!"

"Malas dah nak puaskan hati semua orang!"

"Malas dah nak rasa apa-apa!"

Dan bermacam-macam lagi jenis kemalasan yang membawa kepada kebaikan. 

Malas yang negatif

Rasanya ni semua orang tahu kot. Sebab biasanya kita semua rasa malas yang negatif. Nak contoh? Mudah je. Malas nak study. Kenapa malas nak study ni malas yang negatif? Bila kau malas nak study, kau akan rugi. Kenapa malas nak study? Sebab tak faham. Sebab susah. Dan bermacam-macam lagi alasan. Jadi ini termasuk dalam kategori malas yang negatif. Malas yang macam ni, akibat dia macam orang puteh kata "Don't cry over spilt milk." Haaa. Tapi, ada je orang yang jenis malas gila bila bab study, tapi score dalam exam. Yang ini memang tak boleh buat apalah kan, mungkin tu memang rezeki dia atau dia ni memang gifted dari kecil. 

Contoh-contoh malas yang negatif;

"Malasnya nak kemas rumah!"

"Malasnya nak solat!"

"Malasnya nak baca Al-Quran!"

"Malasnya nak bangun!"

"Malasnya nak basuh baju!"

"Malasnya nak buat homework!"

"Malasnya!!!" 

And the list goes on and on. True isn't it? Sebab kita alami semua benda ni. Benda yang kita dah selalu buat. 

Jadi secara konklusinya, tak semua sikap malas ni membawa kepada keburukan. Ya. Like what I've just mentioned, laziness is not a sin. Laziness is not a crime either. Semua benda kat dunia ni kena ada point. Kena ada matlamat. Sama macam sikap malas. Tanya diri sendiri, kenapa aku malas? Dan kita akan jumpa jawapannya, tahu sama ada sikap malas ni membawa kepada kebaikan atau keburukan. Sikap malas ni penting ya. Tapi tengok keadaan lah. Susah jugak kalau kita ni malas setiap masa. Tak, tak boleh. Nak bermalas-malasan biar kena tempat. Tak salah pun ada sikap malas tu. Ada certain tu dah jadi habit. Kena berpada-padalah dalam bermalas-malasan. 

Harap-harap entry kali ni sedikit sebanyak bagi manfaat lah dekat sesiapa yang baca. Ini hanya sekadar pendapat dan pandangan aku tentang sikap malas. Kalau ada salah silap kat mana-mana, mohon tegur ya. Setiap orang ada pendapat dan pandangan yang berbeza. So yep. 

Sampai sini sahaja. Kalau panjang umur dan sihat, aku akan update selalu. In shaa Allah.

Terima kasih daun keladi.

Sincerely,

Syafiqah Fisal.

Dua Ribu Enam Belas

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hi everyone! Happy New Year! I guess it is still not too late to bid all of you a happy new year because we are still in early January! Yeah.

nothing lasts forever

First of all, with deepest sincerity, I would like to apologize to everyone for shutting off for quite a long time. 2015 was one hell of a hectic year after all. I can't actually believe that I haven't been updating this lovely blog of mine for over a year! I am so sorry for I had been busy with studies in this whole year and yes, I was in boarding school. I couldn't catch up with so many things and even write a single post in this blog. Well, I did. But I've just deleted some posts in 2015 for some reason. And again, I am truly sorry.

2015. So many things happened in this year alone and of course, like years before. There were uncountable events and tragedies that had happened in 2015. The erratic changes I've been going through. The pain. The obstacles. The resistance. The hardship. The happiness. The joy. I guess, as I grow older, I have changed a lot. A lot more than I have ever expected. And I am honestly so glad that all of these happened, though. I, who was a sad and depressed person, is no longer the kind of person I used to be. I don't know how, but I kind of gained enormous strength to go through things and live my life now. I didn't anticipate this. Years before, I always looked at life in a negative way that it slowly consumed and killed me. I was dead, internally, of course. I was too young to feel such a pain, I thought. I hated myself. And my life. I couldn't accept who I was. All I did was blaming myself for being alive. So depressing, wasn't it?

But who thought that I would change this much? I didn't even! I don't know how and since when I have become this strong. I slowly perceive the happiness and positivity. Ah, did I just say 'positivity'? Yes! Positivity is what keeps me alive. Now, I always try to look at the good in everything. I feel much happier that way. Even though I always feel like giving up, there's this part in myself that says "No, not yet." And so I keep on doing what makes me happy. I start not to give a damn about what people think of me. I have had enough of trying to live up to their expectations. You know, we can actually create our own happiness. We can't just wait and sit there just so the happiness would come. No. We have to work our asses off for it. I suppose the main reason why I've changed so much is because I was so so so tired of being sad and depressed. Grieving made me feel so drained out. It's true that we don't ask for it (the sadness) to engulf us, but well, we can change it, though.

Now, I begin to love myself more. I don't hate myself for my flaws and weaknesses anymore and I am slowly trying to accept them. I try to forgive myself more because only this way I can attain happiness. I am not perfect, and never will I be. I now discover a lot about myself and I am truly happy for who I am. I do feel insecure sometimes but I always decide not to wallow in it so much. I believe that everyone is going through different routes in life. Different kind of pain and challenges. We must try to understand and fathom each other's difficulties. Everyone is fighting a battle. In this world, some are blessed, and some are not.

Nothing much that I hope for 2016. I hope that I will achieve my life goals and yeah, more good things to happen. I hope Allah will grant me more strength and patience to go through everything. In shaa Allah aamiin. Happy New Year again everyone! May Allah bless!

Ja mata ne.

Syafiqah Fisal.