Assalamualaikum. Hello guys! Malam ni, beberapa jam sebelum 1 Januari 2014, aku nak cerita pasal apa yang terjadi pada tahun 2013 dan azam aku untuk tahun 2014. It's going to be a long entry though. Hahaha.
2013. Alhamdulillah, bagi aku, tahun 2013 tidaklah seteruk mana. Ada baik dan buruknya. Aku belajar banyak benda dalam tahun ni. Perhaps aku rasa aku dah berubah sikit. Mungkin dari segi pemikiran. Um entahlah. Tapi tahun 2013 ajar aku banyak perkara! Especially tentang friendship and kehidupan. Kasih sayang and all that. Kalau nak bandingkan tahun 2013 dengan 2012, aku lagi suka tahun 2013. Tahun 2012 aku tak matang sangat. Tahun ni aku rasa aku dah boleh bezakan antara baik dengan yang buruk. Ye lah, masa aku tingkatan dua dulu, aku ni kira macam tak matang langsung. Mentally la especially. Tapi aku rasa aku dah berubah sangat-sangat. Aku yang dahulu seorang yang cekal. Sekarang? entahlah. Aku macam tengah berperang dengan fikiran aku sendiri. Fikiran negatif ni hari-hari kacau aku. Aku nak jadi positif macam dulu. Ha, speaking of which, ni la salah satu azam tahun baru aku. Aku nak jadi positif!
Pengalaman yang tidak dapat aku lupakan tahun ni? Um, banyak!! I can't tell XD
Tahun ni aku pelajar tingkatan 3. Jadi hidup aku menjadi semakin sibuk dengan pembelajaran. Ya lah, PMR lah katakan. Mesti la kena struggle gila-gila. Nak kata aku struggle gila-gila, tak la juga. Masuk tingkatan 3 ni la aku start jadi rajin. Mengejar impian untuk mendapat 8A dalam PMR. Alhamdulillah, tercapai juga akhirnya. Aku takkan lupakan jasa guru-guru yang mengajar aku selama ni. Banyak sangat jasa diorang. Aku taktahu nak balas macam mana. Tahun 2014 ramai jugalah cikgu yang akan dipindahkan. Allahu, sedihlah T^T cikgu-cikgu yang awesome gila pula tu! Hmmm :( nak buat macam mana kan? Apa-apa pun, kalau saya pindah sekolah kan cikgu-cikgu, In shaa Allah saya takkan lupakan cikgu semua! Cikgu-cikgulah antara sebab saya berjaya :'D dahulunya saya seorang pemalas (dari segi membuat homework) sekarang saya dah rajin. hehehe. Alhamdulillah :3
Kepada ummi dengan baba. Akak sayang ummi dengan baba! Terima kasih sebab lahirkan akak kat dunia ni. You guys are my strength!! Akak minta maaf sebab selalu kecewakan ummi dengan baba. Akak minta maaf sebab kadang-kadang akak ni menyakitkan hati. Terima kasih atas doa ummi dengan baba untuk akak selama ni. Terima kasih sebab besarkan akak selama ni. Ya Allah, akak taktahu nak cakap macam mana lagi. Nak cakap depan-depan, akak segan T^T so akak ambil peluang ni untuk meluahkan apa yang terbuku dalam diri akak. Terima kasih ummi dengan baba!!
Kepada kawan-kawan, aku nak cakap terima kasih sangat-sangat sebab selama ni korang sabar je dengan karenah aku. Aku minta maaf sebab tak dapat jadi kawan yang baik. Aku sedar sekarang ni aku banyak kehilangan kawan. Maksud aku, kita dah tak rapat macam dulu. Aku taktahu ni salah siapa. Mungkin salah aku. Apa-apa pun, aku dah maafkan segala salah-silap korang. Aku bersyukur aku kenal korang. Mungkin aku jarang tanya khabar tapi korang sentiasa ada dalam doa aku :') Moga Allah merahmati kalian dan semoga korang berjaya di dunia dan akhirat okay! Kalau ada antara kita yang pindah (aku pasti mesti ramai yang pindah termasuklah aku) aku harap kita akan sentiasa keep in touch okay! Yosh! :D
Kepada senior-senior, you guys are awesome!! Korang banyak bagi semangat kat fiqah :'D Especially Kak Kim, Kak Ain, Kushairy-senpai, Sarif and Kak Nasha. Entahlah. Fiqah taktahu nak balas jasa korang macam mana. Waktu fiqah down, korang selalu bagi semangat. Korang baik sangat dengan fiqah~! Thank you so much okay! I appriciate it :'DD
Ha, now, untuk internet friends pula. KORANG MAKHLUK TUHAN PALING AWESOME!!!!!! XD ANATA TACHI WA HONTOUNI SUGOII DESU!!! Yuki happy dapat kenal dengan korang. Mungkin sebab minat kita sama and yeah kita gila-gila sesama kat Twitter. Seriously tak boleh nak lupakan kenangan bersama korang (ceh). Korang sentiasa buat Yuki happy XD Yuki selalu gelak bila cakap dengan korang. Korang ni memang kelakar gila la. Especially Nao-senpai and others. Senpai sugoii gila!! XD Yuki rasa yuki senang rapat dengan orang kat Internet berbanding in real life lol. Haish lepas ni kalau Yuki masuk asrama mesti dah tak boleh gila-gila dengan korang. Sedihnyaaaaaa T^T Anyway, Yuki happy sangat dapat kenal korang!! Haish kalau dapat jumpa kan best :'/ Hmmmmm.
Ahaha. Ni dah macam nak buat penghargaan je. Ye lah. They are the people who made my year good!! Seronok ada bersama dengan diorang HAHAHAHAHA XD Okay okay sekarang nak tulis azam 2014 aku. Ummmm tak tulis semua kot kat sini. Nak tulis yang penting je hehehehehehe.
AZAM TAHUN BARU SAYA:
1. Jadi muslimah yang solehah.
Ya Allah, serious aku teringin sangat nak jadi muslimah yang solehah. Aku nak jadi perempuan yang baik. Aku rasa diri aku teruk gila kot. In shaa Allah, tahun baru ni aku akan cuba ubah diri aku. Aamiin!
2. Berfikiran positif!
Yeah. Aku nak ada fikiran yang positif. Aku sekarang ada masalah dengan diri aku. Aku berperang dengan fikiran negatif aku. Ya Allah. Aku harap sangat aku dapat ubah fikiran aku ke arah yang lebih positif. Aamiin!
3. Ubah sikap.
Ubah sikap. Aku rasa ni benda paling susah kot. Ye lah, sikap ni cerminan diri kita. Aku ni, entahlah. Aku pun taktahu nak cakap camne. Aku tak suka dengan sikap aku sendiri. Banyak benda aku kena ubah dalam diri aku ni. Aku dah taknak lukakan orang lain dah oleh sebab sikap aku. That's why aku nak berubah. We change for the better, right? :'D Yosh yosh~!!
4. Love myself more!
.... orz. Aku taktahu macam mana nak sayang diri aku sendiri D': This means, I have to accept all the flaws that I have. Ye lah, semua manusia ada keburukan dengan kebaikan masing-masing kan? sama lah macam aku. Kalau aku tak sayang diri aku, siapa lagi yang akan sayang aku? Yeah, Allah. Tapi aku kena sayangkan diri aku juga. Kalau aku tak sayang, maknanya macam aku tak sayang Allah. Nauzubillah minzalik! Hmmmm :'( Aku akan cuba! :DDD :')
5. Jadi kawan yang baik.
Aku rasa aku bukan kawan yang baik. Therefore, aku kena berubah! Aku nak jadi kawan yang ada waktu kawan-kawan yang lain berada dalam keadaan susah dan senang. Takpe la aku dah maafkan kesalahan semua kawan-kawan aku. Aku akan cuba untuk jadi kawan yang baik untuk korang semua. In shaa Allah.
6. Belajar rajin-rajin!
Tahun depan dah form four dah. Orang kata tahun honeymoon. Aku rasa tak kot. Aku kena bersedia untuk SPM. Abang aku kata start form four ni la aku kena belajar lagi rajin. Nanti tak menyesal time form five nanti. Hehehe. In shaa Allah aku akan cuba okay!! ^^
7. Simpan duit banyak-banyak :3
Hahahaha yeah!! Aku ni bukan orang yang suka simpan duit orz. Boros yang amat! So, aku nak simpan duit banyak-banyak. Nanti bolehlah beli barang yang aku nak XD Tak payah minta kat mak ayah dah. Ahahaha. yeah. I need money $.$ lol XD
Aku rasa aku dah terlistkan semua azam baru aku. Hahaha. Entah. Mood nak menaip je malam ni XD Aku harap aku dapat capai sasaran aku :'D Aku akan berusaha!! In shaa Allah Aamiin. Terima kasih ya bagi sesiapa yang sudi baca entry ni ya XD ahaha. Tak baca pun takpe :p ni untuk kenangan aku pada masa akan datang XD 10 tahun akan datang (kalau aku hidup lagi) aku nak baca semua benda yang aku tulis kat blog ni. Itupun kalau blog ni wujud lagi :p Hahaha. Wujudlah kot XD in shaa Allah. Nanti aku boleh lah gelak dan menangis time baca entries kat blog aku ni XD HAHAHAHAHHA. Okay la. merepek sudah XD
Selamat tahun baru semua!! Moga tahun 2014 menjadi tahun yang lebih baik daripada tahun-tahun sebelumnya. In shaa Allah. Aamiin.
Bye! Assalamualaikum :D
Salam sayang,
Syafiqah Fisal aka Yuki ^^ <3
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
ain't no good to anybody
Assalamualaikum. Hi.
It's nearly four in the morning and I haven't fallen asleep yet. I tried, though. But my annoying sister kept me awake at this hour. Lol it's not really her fault. I don't know. It's kinda hard for me to fall asleep. Not that I'm overthinking, I just don't know why I can't sleep. Ugh! This is bothering me! Hmmm. So I decided to write something after reading my friend's post on her blog. Yeah.
Honestly, I feel guilty towards her, and all my friends. I don't know. I guess I'm just useless. I'm the one to be blamed. I wasn't there when my friends needed me. I kinda left them. Yeah, this is all my fault. Now that I think of it, I guess I've lost all of my friends. I might have some, but I'm not so close to them anymore. It's like, when I talk to them, we talk like awkward strangers. What happened? Yeah, I did it. It's all my fault. I made people hate me. Ah, what else can I say?
Now I pay the price. I don't really care though. Because my life motto is, "what goes around comes around" so whatever I did to people, I'll get paid back. Allah's plan is fair, isn't it? So yeah. Somehow I wish for a better future. I don't want to hurt people anymore. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Because my words might hurt everyone. Well, uh, I'm such a talkative girl in real life. But that's only with the people I know. I'm not talkative with strangers though. Unless when I'm on Twitter. I talk to many strangers and I guess they're my best buddies ever. It's basically because they have the same interest as I do. So we have like so many things to talk about. Unlike in real life, I'm the only girl who likes anime, manga, shounen ai, and things that are related to Japan culture. I'm kinda lonely in real life when it comes to this thing because nobody has the same interest as I do except my two guy friends. Yeah, they like anime. So it's like I still have friends to talk about anime. Well, but it would be great if I had girl friends to fangirl with. Okay sorry guys no offense tho lol XD
Yeah, I'm no good to anybody. I don't know if I ever did anything good for them. I think I'm just a stranger passing by to some of my friends. Though I've been hurt a lot, I suppose I hurt them a lot more than they did. I've forgiven them nonetheless lel. I don't really care though. I wish they would forgive me. I ain't a good friend. Frankly speaking, I miss all of the people I used to be so close with. Hmmm. I'm sorry again.
Good mornight. Assalamualaikum.
It's nearly four in the morning and I haven't fallen asleep yet. I tried, though. But my annoying sister kept me awake at this hour. Lol it's not really her fault. I don't know. It's kinda hard for me to fall asleep. Not that I'm overthinking, I just don't know why I can't sleep. Ugh! This is bothering me! Hmmm. So I decided to write something after reading my friend's post on her blog. Yeah.
Honestly, I feel guilty towards her, and all my friends. I don't know. I guess I'm just useless. I'm the one to be blamed. I wasn't there when my friends needed me. I kinda left them. Yeah, this is all my fault. Now that I think of it, I guess I've lost all of my friends. I might have some, but I'm not so close to them anymore. It's like, when I talk to them, we talk like awkward strangers. What happened? Yeah, I did it. It's all my fault. I made people hate me. Ah, what else can I say?
Now I pay the price. I don't really care though. Because my life motto is, "what goes around comes around" so whatever I did to people, I'll get paid back. Allah's plan is fair, isn't it? So yeah. Somehow I wish for a better future. I don't want to hurt people anymore. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Because my words might hurt everyone. Well, uh, I'm such a talkative girl in real life. But that's only with the people I know. I'm not talkative with strangers though. Unless when I'm on Twitter. I talk to many strangers and I guess they're my best buddies ever. It's basically because they have the same interest as I do. So we have like so many things to talk about. Unlike in real life, I'm the only girl who likes anime, manga, shounen ai, and things that are related to Japan culture. I'm kinda lonely in real life when it comes to this thing because nobody has the same interest as I do except my two guy friends. Yeah, they like anime. So it's like I still have friends to talk about anime. Well, but it would be great if I had girl friends to fangirl with. Okay sorry guys no offense tho lol XD
Yeah, I'm no good to anybody. I don't know if I ever did anything good for them. I think I'm just a stranger passing by to some of my friends. Though I've been hurt a lot, I suppose I hurt them a lot more than they did. I've forgiven them nonetheless lel. I don't really care though. I wish they would forgive me. I ain't a good friend. Frankly speaking, I miss all of the people I used to be so close with. Hmmm. I'm sorry again.
Good mornight. Assalamualaikum.
Form 4 isn't a honeymoon year
Assalamualaikum. Hello! Hehehehe hari ni aku terlebih rajin nak update blog. Dah lebih daripada satu entry blog untuk hari ni! Hahaha XD Entah, hari ni excited nak menaip. hehehe.
Ah, yeah. You read the title, right? Yeah, basically. Next year I'll be a form four student. Which means, one year before SPM!! Ahahaha. Am I too early to say this? Hmmm not really. Because I'm kinda excited to become a form four student .__. I don't even know why! >///< I swear I said I didn't want to go to school next year but then what happened?! Why do I feel so excited??!! o.o Is it because I already got straight A's? Uh, no actually. I don't know. I just feel like wanting to start studying already. Orz. 2 months of school holidays. I don't even know what I've achieved and accomplished so far. I guess I've done/learnt nothing! I spent my days on useless things such as surfing the Internet, lazing around. Uh, I don't know why everytime when it is school holiday, I always have no idea on what I ought to do. And yeah, I guess I've stopped watching anime orz. I feel lazy. I have no mood to watch anime T^T Etto, it's not like I'm getting bored with anime or anything. Chigau yo~!! Maybe the mood will come back when I'm in form four, I suppose? HAHAHAHAHA aaaaah.
So yeah, I hope I'll do my best in my form four. I hope I'll be going to SBP. My dream for the time being! I wish I'd get to encounter SBP so badly!! >///<
Speaking of which, aku tak beli baju sekolah lagi .___. Aaaaaa. Parents aku dua-dua demam. ya Allah, kau sembuhkanlah mereka T^T kesian aku tengok diorang macam tu :'( Apa yang aku boleh buat adalah hanya dengan mendoakan kesihatan diorang and layan diorang baik-baik. Allah. Harap sangat ummi dengan baba cepat sembuh! Aamiin!
Oh, and aku tak hantar lagi borang tentang kos apa aku nak ambil form four nanti. Aaaaaa, aku rasa aku ambil pure science kot sebab aku memang dah didorong untuk ambil kos tu. And aku tak rasa ragu-ragu. In shaa Allah aku boleh carry on subjek-subjek dalam kos tu. lagipun aku memang minat science. So yeah in shaa Allah boleh kot hehehe. Apa yang aku perlu buat tahun depan ialah belajar dengan bersungguh-sungguh and tak main-main. In shaa Allah, Allah permudahkan. Aamiin!
Thanks baca entry ni XD Takde isi sangat, aku saja-saja je nak share. Okaylah. Panjang sangat pula. Kaybye! Assalamualaikum! ^^
Love Story
Assalamualaikum. Hi guys! Muehehe hari ni aku rasa macam nak update blog pula. Hohoho. Title entry ni semacam je kan? Haha. Eh, aku bukan nak cerita pasal love story aku .___. Takpe takpe itu biarlah Allah sahaja yang tahu XD not sure if I already had one but yeah malas nak fikir XD
Love Story. Ah, yeah. Semua orang ada love story sendiri kan? Hari ni terdetik pula nak cerita pasal love story sebab tadi aku tengok satu movie ni. Pasal love la kan. Tapi gua cakap lu memang love story dia sweet sangat! Ish geram! Teringin nak camtu gak! Hahaha. Okay that's not the point I'm going to talk about on this lovely day ha ha.
Aku rasa memang fitrah kot nak rasa menyayangi dan disayangi. Yeah. Especially dengan yang berlainan jantina. Tipulah kalau aku tak pernah rasa macam ni. Tapi rasa macam ni tak sepatutnya disalurkan dengan bercouple. Yeah. No offense okay. Bagi aku there's no point pun kalau bercouple ni. Sorry to say. Aku tengok most kawan-kawan aku yang bercouple ni.. Hm. Couple clash couple clash. Huh? Tu ke yang kau kata cinta? Cinta is not like that, kawan. Aku tahu aku ni muda lagi nak cakap pasal benda ni. Tapi yeah, itu pendapat aku. Macam mana eh nak cakap? Okay. Camni. I bet semua couple ada matlamat masing-masing kan? Nak bercinta sampai kahwin kan? Well, sebenarnya, love is seriously not like that. Malah lagi suci. Eh! Jangan salah faham! Takpe kau nak sayang orang tu, tak salah pun. Tapi kalau betul kau sayang dia, tak perlu kot rasanya kau nak bercouple dengan dia. aku cakap ni pun untuk diri aku juga sebab aku ni manusia biasa yang banyak buat salah.
Aku just nak nasihatkan korang janganlah terjebak dengan dunia couple ni. Sebab couple ni lagi banyak keburukan daripada kebaikan. Malah couple membuka kepada jalan penzinaan! nauzubillah minzalik! so, korang fikir-fikirlahkan pasal benda ni. Ala, takmo la sedih-sedih! Allah memang cipta hamba-Nya semua berpasang-pasangan. Jangan risau. Suatu hari nanti pasti akan kita bertemu dengan orang yang Allah dah tentukan untuk kita. Mungkin orang tu orang yang paling kita tak sangka kita akan bersama dengan dia. Kan? Perancangan Allah tu adalah yang terbaik. Tak perlulah kita bersusah payah bercouple untuk cari jodoh. Aip! Jangan sesekali gunakan seseorang untuk uji kaji cinta kamu! Maksud aku, yelah couple dengan dia. Then bila kau dah tahu siapa diri dia yang sebenar, kau tinggalkan dia. Jangan okay?
Buat masa ni, jom kita sama-sama perbaikikan diri kita, dekatkan diri kita kepada Allah, ingat Rasulullah. Sorry guys, aku cakap ni pun bukan sebab aku dah bagus sangat! No! Aku lagi teruk daripada korang. Aku just nak nasihatkan je. Aku pun tengah cuba pelihara diri aku untuk tidak terjebak dalam dunia couple ni. Aku takut. Aku takut aku tak boleh jaga batas. Even ada crush pun aku dah rasa tak keruan. Huhu. Mari sama-sama kita berubah ke arah yang lebih baik, okay kawan-kawan? In shaa Allah, Allah permudahkan segala urusan kita. Hehe. Peace out yo! ^^v Andai kata apa yang aku tulis ni menimbulkan rasa ketidak puasan hati daripada korang, aku minta maaf sangat-sangat okay! Yang baik datangnya daripada Allah yang buruk datang daripada aku sendiri.
Okay. Moga nota ini bermanfaat untuk korang dan diri aku juga. In shaa Allah. Assalamualaikum.
Salam sayang,
Syafiqah Fisal.
Love Story. Ah, yeah. Semua orang ada love story sendiri kan? Hari ni terdetik pula nak cerita pasal love story sebab tadi aku tengok satu movie ni. Pasal love la kan. Tapi gua cakap lu memang love story dia sweet sangat! Ish geram! Teringin nak camtu gak! Hahaha. Okay that's not the point I'm going to talk about on this lovely day ha ha.
Aku rasa memang fitrah kot nak rasa menyayangi dan disayangi. Yeah. Especially dengan yang berlainan jantina. Tipulah kalau aku tak pernah rasa macam ni. Tapi rasa macam ni tak sepatutnya disalurkan dengan bercouple. Yeah. No offense okay. Bagi aku there's no point pun kalau bercouple ni. Sorry to say. Aku tengok most kawan-kawan aku yang bercouple ni.. Hm. Couple clash couple clash. Huh? Tu ke yang kau kata cinta? Cinta is not like that, kawan. Aku tahu aku ni muda lagi nak cakap pasal benda ni. Tapi yeah, itu pendapat aku. Macam mana eh nak cakap? Okay. Camni. I bet semua couple ada matlamat masing-masing kan? Nak bercinta sampai kahwin kan? Well, sebenarnya, love is seriously not like that. Malah lagi suci. Eh! Jangan salah faham! Takpe kau nak sayang orang tu, tak salah pun. Tapi kalau betul kau sayang dia, tak perlu kot rasanya kau nak bercouple dengan dia. aku cakap ni pun untuk diri aku juga sebab aku ni manusia biasa yang banyak buat salah.
Aku just nak nasihatkan korang janganlah terjebak dengan dunia couple ni. Sebab couple ni lagi banyak keburukan daripada kebaikan. Malah couple membuka kepada jalan penzinaan! nauzubillah minzalik! so, korang fikir-fikirlahkan pasal benda ni. Ala, takmo la sedih-sedih! Allah memang cipta hamba-Nya semua berpasang-pasangan. Jangan risau. Suatu hari nanti pasti akan kita bertemu dengan orang yang Allah dah tentukan untuk kita. Mungkin orang tu orang yang paling kita tak sangka kita akan bersama dengan dia. Kan? Perancangan Allah tu adalah yang terbaik. Tak perlulah kita bersusah payah bercouple untuk cari jodoh. Aip! Jangan sesekali gunakan seseorang untuk uji kaji cinta kamu! Maksud aku, yelah couple dengan dia. Then bila kau dah tahu siapa diri dia yang sebenar, kau tinggalkan dia. Jangan okay?
Buat masa ni, jom kita sama-sama perbaikikan diri kita, dekatkan diri kita kepada Allah, ingat Rasulullah. Sorry guys, aku cakap ni pun bukan sebab aku dah bagus sangat! No! Aku lagi teruk daripada korang. Aku just nak nasihatkan je. Aku pun tengah cuba pelihara diri aku untuk tidak terjebak dalam dunia couple ni. Aku takut. Aku takut aku tak boleh jaga batas. Even ada crush pun aku dah rasa tak keruan. Huhu. Mari sama-sama kita berubah ke arah yang lebih baik, okay kawan-kawan? In shaa Allah, Allah permudahkan segala urusan kita. Hehe. Peace out yo! ^^v Andai kata apa yang aku tulis ni menimbulkan rasa ketidak puasan hati daripada korang, aku minta maaf sangat-sangat okay! Yang baik datangnya daripada Allah yang buruk datang daripada aku sendiri.
Okay. Moga nota ini bermanfaat untuk korang dan diri aku juga. In shaa Allah. Assalamualaikum.
Salam sayang,
Syafiqah Fisal.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Ranting: Depressing Self
Assalamualaikum. Hey everyone.
I guess it's normal for everyone to feel depressed. I feel depressed a lot lately. There's nothing in particular that makes me feel depressed. I don't know why everytime I think about myself I feel sad. And sometimes it makes me cry my eyes out. It's just... I don't know. I always feel bad about myself. I don't know what's so special about myself. And I think nobody likes me. Being myself sucks a lot. I know it's absolutely wrong to hate myself but I just can't help it. I have to accept myself. If I don't accept myself or flaws to be more precise, who else will do it? It needs time, really. My flaws kinda hurt people around me a lot. And this thing makes me hate myself even more. Why can't I satisfy everyone? Why can't I be good to everyone? I don't want to hurt people with my flaws. When I hurt people I feel like I'm hurting myself too. This literally sucks. I want to change myself. I want to a good person. But why does it seem so hard? And yeah people will easily get tired of me because of my negative thinking. I'm sorry guys. Sometimes I can't handle it. I'm sorry for being such a mess. I don't like myself either. I don't love myself. Because I am no good. I'm sorry. I've been questioning myself a lot lately. "Why am I like this?" and there's no answer. "Do I have to change for people's sake or for the better?" and there's still no answer to this question.
Okay. I think this is enough. I ranted too much. I'm sorry. Bye.
I guess it's normal for everyone to feel depressed. I feel depressed a lot lately. There's nothing in particular that makes me feel depressed. I don't know why everytime I think about myself I feel sad. And sometimes it makes me cry my eyes out. It's just... I don't know. I always feel bad about myself. I don't know what's so special about myself. And I think nobody likes me. Being myself sucks a lot. I know it's absolutely wrong to hate myself but I just can't help it. I have to accept myself. If I don't accept myself or flaws to be more precise, who else will do it? It needs time, really. My flaws kinda hurt people around me a lot. And this thing makes me hate myself even more. Why can't I satisfy everyone? Why can't I be good to everyone? I don't want to hurt people with my flaws. When I hurt people I feel like I'm hurting myself too. This literally sucks. I want to change myself. I want to a good person. But why does it seem so hard? And yeah people will easily get tired of me because of my negative thinking. I'm sorry guys. Sometimes I can't handle it. I'm sorry for being such a mess. I don't like myself either. I don't love myself. Because I am no good. I'm sorry. I've been questioning myself a lot lately. "Why am I like this?" and there's no answer. "Do I have to change for people's sake or for the better?" and there's still no answer to this question.
Okay. I think this is enough. I ranted too much. I'm sorry. Bye.
A blessing from Allah
Assalamualaikum. Hi everyone!
It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. Sorry! I was so busy with my daily life as a PMR student so yeah. Lotsa things needed to be done due to PMR. Well, I can't say I was so busy with studying but yeah tons of homework kept me away from updating my blog. And I didn't have anything to talk about since nobody read my entries on this blog. Ha. Isashiburi ne~!!
19th December 2013 was one of my happiest days ever. The date which PMR 2013 Results were announced. Alhamdulillah. I obtained all A's in all subjects I took. Masha Allah. I didn't expect I'd get straight A's because... I don't know. I'd been having nightmares about my results. The last thing I dreamed before PMR Results were announced was about me not getting straight A's. In that dream I only got 7A's and 1B. I wasn't sure what subject I didn't get A. Alhamdulillah. The dream didn't happen for real XD
I arrived early at school on that day with my big brother. I guess I was probably the only one who came too early. It was at 8.00 in the morning and I saw some teachers talking to the school employees. I was searching for my friends but they hadn't arrived yet. So while waiting for them I chitchatted with my brother, talking about whatsover that could make me feel less flustered. Well, actually I wasn't really nervous but the nearer the moment to PMR Results to be announced, the more nervous I felt. I could do nothing but pray the best for myself and my friends.
10.15 AM. The time all form 3 students of my school were told to be in the school hall. Okay. I swear to Allah I couldn't calm myself down when I walked into the hall. I saw teachers setting up some things and yeah I saw stacks of PMR Results' slips on the tables. I was so nervous. My heart was beating so fast. Sweats started to wet my face. Then I met my girl friends. They were all in Baju Kurung except me. Lol. I talked to them for a while. And then I saw Puan Che Hasnah, my school principal, walking to the stage. I could see a broad smile on her face. "Well, maybe something good will happen." I said to myself.
"Tahun lepas SMK Datok Lokman hanya memperoleh 13 orang pelajar yang mendapat straight A's. Tahun ni kita memperoleh 22 orang pelajar yang mendapat straight A's."
Fuhhhh!! I could see the light of happiness shone brightly on her face when she said that. Allahuakbar. One of my friends started to cry, hoping that she was one of those students. So did I, but I didn't cry XD Sadly Puan Che Hasnah said she didn't want to announce it. So we had to take the results ourselves. I was the first person from my class to take my results. Once I received it I screamed loudly 'Alhamdulillah!!!' then I rushed to hug my school principal. I can't describe how happy I was at that time. I cried tears of joy XD Then I went to show the slip to my brother and I hugged him. "Kan aku dah cakap, kau boleh punya!" said my brother.
22 students obtained all A's in all subjects they took. Alhamdulillah. Though it's just a small number I'm still proud of it. Exam-exam sebelum ni takde sorang pun dapat straight A's. Then bila tiba waktu PMR. Whoa, ramainya! XD Happy sebab dapat beat batch tahun lepas XD Haha. Seronok sangat waktu dapat results tu sebab kawan-kawan satu geng dengan aku semua dapat 8A. Alhamdulillah. Aku bersyukur sangat :')
Kepada kawan-kawan yang tak dapat keputusan yang korang dambakan tu, janganlah kecewa ya :') Sebab ini bukan pengakhirannya :DD Kita masih ada SPM, bukan? Jom buat yang terbaik sama-sama!! In shaa Allah. Aamiin!
Okay, I guess that's all I want to talk about. PARDON MY BROKEN ENGLISH ORZ. Okay. Bye! Assalamualaikum ^^
It's been a long time since I last updated my blog. Sorry! I was so busy with my daily life as a PMR student so yeah. Lotsa things needed to be done due to PMR. Well, I can't say I was so busy with studying but yeah tons of homework kept me away from updating my blog. And I didn't have anything to talk about since nobody read my entries on this blog. Ha. Isashiburi ne~!!
19th December 2013 was one of my happiest days ever. The date which PMR 2013 Results were announced. Alhamdulillah. I obtained all A's in all subjects I took. Masha Allah. I didn't expect I'd get straight A's because... I don't know. I'd been having nightmares about my results. The last thing I dreamed before PMR Results were announced was about me not getting straight A's. In that dream I only got 7A's and 1B. I wasn't sure what subject I didn't get A. Alhamdulillah. The dream didn't happen for real XD
I arrived early at school on that day with my big brother. I guess I was probably the only one who came too early. It was at 8.00 in the morning and I saw some teachers talking to the school employees. I was searching for my friends but they hadn't arrived yet. So while waiting for them I chitchatted with my brother, talking about whatsover that could make me feel less flustered. Well, actually I wasn't really nervous but the nearer the moment to PMR Results to be announced, the more nervous I felt. I could do nothing but pray the best for myself and my friends.
10.15 AM. The time all form 3 students of my school were told to be in the school hall. Okay. I swear to Allah I couldn't calm myself down when I walked into the hall. I saw teachers setting up some things and yeah I saw stacks of PMR Results' slips on the tables. I was so nervous. My heart was beating so fast. Sweats started to wet my face. Then I met my girl friends. They were all in Baju Kurung except me. Lol. I talked to them for a while. And then I saw Puan Che Hasnah, my school principal, walking to the stage. I could see a broad smile on her face. "Well, maybe something good will happen." I said to myself.
"Tahun lepas SMK Datok Lokman hanya memperoleh 13 orang pelajar yang mendapat straight A's. Tahun ni kita memperoleh 22 orang pelajar yang mendapat straight A's."
Fuhhhh!! I could see the light of happiness shone brightly on her face when she said that. Allahuakbar. One of my friends started to cry, hoping that she was one of those students. So did I, but I didn't cry XD Sadly Puan Che Hasnah said she didn't want to announce it. So we had to take the results ourselves. I was the first person from my class to take my results. Once I received it I screamed loudly 'Alhamdulillah!!!' then I rushed to hug my school principal. I can't describe how happy I was at that time. I cried tears of joy XD Then I went to show the slip to my brother and I hugged him. "Kan aku dah cakap, kau boleh punya!" said my brother.
22 students obtained all A's in all subjects they took. Alhamdulillah. Though it's just a small number I'm still proud of it. Exam-exam sebelum ni takde sorang pun dapat straight A's. Then bila tiba waktu PMR. Whoa, ramainya! XD Happy sebab dapat beat batch tahun lepas XD Haha. Seronok sangat waktu dapat results tu sebab kawan-kawan satu geng dengan aku semua dapat 8A. Alhamdulillah. Aku bersyukur sangat :')
Kepada kawan-kawan yang tak dapat keputusan yang korang dambakan tu, janganlah kecewa ya :') Sebab ini bukan pengakhirannya :DD Kita masih ada SPM, bukan? Jom buat yang terbaik sama-sama!! In shaa Allah. Aamiin!
Okay, I guess that's all I want to talk about. PARDON MY BROKEN ENGLISH ORZ. Okay. Bye! Assalamualaikum ^^
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)